Erik Almeida

full interview

Okay, let me introduce myself. My name is Eduardo. I’m working on a project called 1000 Dreams, where we interview people and share their stories, in which they tell us a little about their past, their present, and their future; about their hopes. I would like to know who you are, where you’re from, what you do, where you live.
Well, my name is Erik Almeida and I’m from Mexico. I was born in Mexico, but I came to this country about 18 years ago. I live in Brooklyn, New York, with my wife. It’s a fairly small basement apartment, but a happy one in the sense that… it’s my own space; I control my space.

You tell me that you are happy in your space, that you live happily in your basement apartment. How do you feel there?
Ah… It’s complicated when it comes to comfort, you know?, the everyday things. There is a lot of noise and the discomfort of living in a place where other people live, because, well, it’s a building; and the place is very small since rent here is very expensive. In that sense, it can be complicated, but I adapt easily. In fact, part of what my life is is the fact that, as long as things are functional, they are good enough for me.

How do you spend your time here? Do you work?
I’m a contractual worker. Sometimes I have a photography gig, sometimes I have a construction gig. I work for one of my brothers-in-law in construction. I’ve been working in construction since I got here. I worked with my other brothers, but I finally settled with my brother-in-law and… and it’s temporary; it’s not a fixed job, but rather, every time a job comes up, he calls me and I do it. I’ve been doing this for quite some time now, so I’ve gained some experience. Whenever I don’t have a job, I love doing photography so I practice a lot. Thanks to what I’ve practiced, I’ve come to have people hire me to do the work. I don’t see it as a job, but well, in the end, I do get paid to do photography.

What are some of the things that bring you joy or make you happy? 
Oh… There are several things. Even the simplest, such as being healthy and not sick. Especially considering I’m a person who lives in the present. I think very little about the future or, when I do think about it, I do it in the short term and then, as long as the circumstances are good, I’m happy. The fact that I’m with my wife and we have a good relationship makes me happy. If I don’t have a job, but I have free time and can dedicate it to playing my favorite game, I’m happy. If I have a job and can’t dedicate myself to photography, I’m happy because I have a job to cover my financial needs. So, in general, I try to see the positive side in everything and, when things aren’t good, then I think: “Put on a brave face and weather the storm” [laughs].

And… Which of these, all these things you are telling me, are your challenges? 
My challenges. Uh… For example, in photography, I think I’ve learned a lot and have gained knowledge. Knowing myself, I think I’ve learned a lot in the sense that I got all that knowledge for free or almost free. Some teachers have taught me for free and online. But the challenge is that, even though I learn things and apply them, I have the feeling that it’s not the same as going to a fine art photography school, which is what I would like to practice, fine art photography. But that costs a lot of money and my day to day, paying for my daily expenses, is already a challenge for me in and of itself.

What has life been like since you arrived?
I think that life since I arrived has been quite rewarding and benevolent to me, except for moments that have had their downsides. Overall, when I arrived, I was happy to see my family. I hadn’t seen them in a long time. The weather was extreme for me but it was… It was nothing, it was just that, right?, like, well, having to adapt to the weather. Moreover, when misfortunes happened, like when I was detained by ICE five years after arriving here, I always believed that bad things carry something very good with them. And that time, when ICE detained me, I was certain that something very good was going to come out of that problem. What happened was that I met a person who helped me during that process and this same person, while listening to what I liked to do in life or what I hoped to do in life, which at that time was learning photography, recommended a teacher from New York who taught free or very cheap classes. From then on I started really focusing on my photography, which opened up a whole new world for me. And that opportunity presented itself just after going through the ICE situation.

What has been the good thing about being here? Or, what has been the most difficult thing that you could say you have had to face? 
Uh… The good… The good thing, I would say, has been opening my mind in the sense of getting to know the problems, situations, and emotions of other people from cultures very different from mine, and even from my own country. I learned more about my culture here than I did in my own country. And all that, for me, I feel that it helps me grow as a person. In addition to the fact that it gives me more ideas, a different point of view when taking pictures, which is my goal, right?, to do fine art photography.

Can you describe how living here has made you feel? 
Uh… I like it. In fact, when ICE detained me, I didn’t want to go back to my country because I felt safe here. I could go out at night and I didn’t feel like something bad would happen to me. I could take out my phone on the street and feel like nothing was going to happen to me. I felt like I could have a job that would be enough to meet my basic needs and, consequently, have time to dedicate to other activities; something that, in my country, wasn’t possible. In my country people were working just to be able to keep working, and for me, that wasn’t life.

We know everything you have been through, and we’ve always put ourselves in people’s shoes, and what they go through. I know the questions we are going to ask you are a little difficult to answer. With that in mind, I would like to know how it feels to be away from the rest of your family or home.
Well, most of my family was already here when I came, so I was very happy to meet them again. Over time, part of my family had to return to Mexico and now that feeling is back, right? I came here wanting to be with my family and now that I’m here, part of my family, due to the legal situation around immigration, had to go back to Mexico. So it’s difficult, even more difficult when it comes to my parents because they are already quite old and are going through old age. As a result, they need more medical attention, time, someone to care for them. And, well, I would like to be able to be there taking care of my mom, for example, or being closer to my mom. It’s difficult in that sense, but I’m also happy because the rest of my family is here. My nephews, my brothers… their children are already married, they are all grown up and, for me, it’s just great.

Since you told me that most of your family is here but you are still far away from them, how does the feeling of not belonging in that environment, in that home, affect you? 
I think that it’s very different to have a family in Mexico and to live with that same family here in the United States. I get the feeling that even though my family is here and I’m very happy to see them, the bond and traditions we had in Mexico are completely different here. It is as if we had distanced ourselves, as if the family bond had been broken and everybody built their own life and became independent. And on the one hand, you would think it’s a natural process in all living beings, right? But, remembering what families were like or are like in Mexico, it seems to me that what happens here is related to the economic system of this country, which ends up influencing people’s culture. So it makes me feel bad in the sense that we grew apart as a family; there are no longer such strong bonds because everyone no longer has time, you know? Everyone is focused on the well-being of their children, on the day-to-day economy, on rent, on their dreams, and so on; and even me. Then, there’s no time left. In Mexico, although there is a lack of a lot of things, we always find a way to unite, to be together, to celebrate together and that is a very different culture.

Since you told me that some are there, some are here… that they too are refugees, they are immigrants… Can you tell me about discrimination or stigma? Tell me a little bit about discrimination, if you or anyone in your family, any of your loved ones in Mexico, have felt it. 
I feel that in Mexico, in general, or at least during the time I lived there, there is a lot of discrimination and I think that part of that is influenced by the media and the politics of that time. It’s not like this discrimination has stopped, but at least that political system has been changing. Here, I feel that New York is a city that is quite tolerant because of its cultural diversity. I felt pretty accepted; far from what I would hear about Anglo-Saxon people discriminating against others for—for being Latino. I realized that American people, or at least here in New York, are quite supportive; as we say in Mexico, they embrace us, they treat us well, with respect and dignity. Of course, there is discrimination in certain parts of society but, in general, I’ve felt quite accepted in this society and I think part of it is that New York is a city with a lot of cultural diversity and therefore its reputation is that of accepting immigrants, of welcoming them and supporting them.

Did you ever imagine that you could handle this situation or… or the way you have managed to overcome it, to survive it?
Well, actually, when I was younger, I always held the belief that my faith, my strength, was in my family and in myself. When I arrived here, the change of language was very difficult. It’s a very difficult barrier. And the fear that just a short time after getting here, I already had financial responsibilities and I didn’t know how to get a job because I didn’t know the language or how the system was here, right? I basically didn’t know anything, I didn’t know the city, I didn’t know the streets, I didn’t know where to look, I didn’t know where there were people who could understand me. Everything was new to me. But I always had the hope that if I couldn’t do it on my own, someone in my family would support me by helping me find a job or, with the issue of language, they would help me translate, or even financially; but mostly in the emotional sense. And in that regard, well, my family is my greatest support, they are what gives me strength. But also ever since I was a child, precisely because of this migration, because my family emigrated little by little, I was very independent. I was always one to do things by myself, so when I came here I already knew that, in the end, I had to do things on my own. And it was just that: facing new things, which are always scary because they are a mystery but, once you get used to them, the fear dissipates.

How do you feel about all this? 
These moments are the other way around, aren’t they? Right now, on the one hand, I’m not that interested in returning to Mexico as most of the people I talk to, including my family, in the sense that they miss our land, our cultures, our traditions. What I am interested in is being with my mother, in her house, because back then I had, together with her, managed to buy some land and my dream at the time was to fill that land with fruit trees. It wasn’t much but, in those days, the economy? Sheesh! Even getting that land in a small town, in a super remote place where practically no one lived, was hard, but I was glad to have gotten it. When I arrived here, my idea was that that land would be filled with fruit trees and I would use it as a country house but there was no one who could tend to that land. When I was here I thought that the land was going to be lost because someone could steal it and there would be no way for me, being here and all, to get it back. So I decided to tell my mom that I was either going to sell it or give it away but, if she wanted it, she could take care of it. Fortunately, my mother happily left her house in the State of Mexico and moved to that little town in Hidalgo where there was nothing, but she started planting things because she loves gardening, and today, after 18 years of me being here and a little over 20 years after I bought that land, I have the fruit trees that my mother planted: mango, avocado, mamey, guava… There is a little bit of everything. It is a total paradise for me, and I would like to enjoy it with my mother.

Do you think you developed the ability to face these challenges or do you think you always had those abilities and strength as a form of resilience?
I think that we always have weaknesses when we are facing the fear of the unknown, but my strength was instilled in me or I acquired it since I was a child because of that family disintegration, the fact that my relatives emigrated here, to the United States, because I learned to face my challenges on my own in Mexico. And because of that mindset that I have of doing things for myself, well, I knew that I was going to be able to make it. It was just a matter of analyzing all the… the whole system here. And well, in that sense, I don’t think so. I think I felt the most fear when ICE arrived and was going to send me back to Mexico; that was when my fear was quite strong; when I heard or felt that I was going to be imprisoned. I had already heard about my brother’s experience when he’d been imprisoned and I had also heard and seen experiences about the prisons in Mexico, so I could imagine that my situation would be something similar, so the fear was very, very strong. But I think that was the biggest of my fears and challenges that I’ve experienced: when I was detained by ICE.

Speaking of ICE, talking about refugees, how do you think refugees are perceived in this country? 
In this country and in general, my idea, what I learned, even when I was in Mexico, was the fact that I had to go to school and then head back home. I had no worries other than finishing school. When that became no longer possible and I arrived here, I felt like I was discovering and becoming more aware of my situation in Mexico, of what Mexicans were experiencing during the time I got here. As time goes by, I have more access to information, more access to other people’s life stories, both in my country and here. And in that sense, I view the government of this country and of other countries in general as a very strong minority that oppresses a large part of the population, so when you ask me how I see migration or how I feel about migration, about being judged by that government or about the way they treat us, I think it’s still part of the same thing: trying to benefit from people at the lowest possible cost, that is, to always obtain as much profit as possible out of others. This is how I see governments, both here and in my country and in so many other countries.

Can you tell us about a time when you have been discriminated against? 
I think that the way in which I feel discriminated against is the fact that I have no documentation. I don’t feel discriminated against because of my race, I don’t feel discriminated against because of my skin color; as I told you, I think that in this state people are quite tolerant. But I do feel the discrimination in the sense that, if I want to have the same rights or opportunities to work as someone else, and even if I’m skilled enough or even more skilled to do a job than someone else, I can’t do it because, legally, it’s not possible. And I don’t think it is logical from a biological viewpoint, nor do I think I’m undocumented because they think I could cause any harm to this society or anything like that. I believe it is part of a system where, if people like me don’t have documentation, they can be more easily exploited, right? In the sense that I have no rights, I can’t demand my rights, I don’t have privileges like other people who can have health insurance, benefits, vacations, a fair wage, and so on, right? In that sense, I have quite a few disadvantages compared to others and, in that sense, I feel discriminated against.

Before we move on to other questions, uh… I wanted to know how you feel about being here now, having been through so much, talking about discrimination… I want to know how you feel right now. 
Well, happy. The truth is that I’m happy about the new course that my life has taken. Uh… Because I’ve learned through organizations, I’ve learned through photography, I’ve learned through the friends I’ve met over the course of my life who reside here. I’ve learned so much about the history of Mexico, the culture of Mexico, the culture of other countries, but, above all, I think that what makes me the happiest is that, and I say it without trying to be arrogant, I feel more human, you know? closer from empathizing with people. When I was in Mexico, it made me sad to see the people who lived on the streets and I tried to help in some way, but when I got here, it wasn’t just about the people on the street anymore. Now I feel empathy in general for my population, for my people, and for that of other countries who seek that… who end up leaving their countries by emigrating, but precisely because of the policies created by the powerful that force millions of people to seek other opportunities, because they cannot found any in their land. And in that sense, I’m glad to be a more aware person.

Why did you leave your country? 
Initially, I left to reunite with my family who were here. I missed my nephews so much. I had some nephews that I’d grown up with and I’d loved to live with; they were like my little brothers. And they were already here, they were becoming adults and I didn’t know anything about them. But besides that, new nephews were coming into this world, and it hurt to think that they didn’t know anything about me and that the years would pass and, in the end, they would be strangers to me. So my initial idea was just to get here and spend some time with my family and return to my country. But once I was here, it was a change in mindset in the sense that… it was a change in mindset in the sense of seeing the situation people were going through in Mexico due to the violence, which was increasing, and that I felt good here, I felt…

On that subject, can you describe to me the reason or circumstances that made you leave your country? 
Yes. Initially, as I told you, it was because I wanted to be with my family; in addition to the economic situation, obviously, which was already difficult enough, and the violence that was taking place in Mexico, but I still hoped to be able to stay in Mexico. But I missed my family too much and, logically, they constantly asked me to go and give it a try, to come here. And, initially, that was the cause of my desire to be here. But after being here for five years I realized that I had more opportunities here, that I could meet my basic needs and have access to opportunities that I didn’t have in Mexico, I felt better. But also, I no longer wanted to return to Mexico because, just when I left my country to come here, there was a change of presidency. Even though it was the same political regime, it was becoming more aggressive. When I came here, I could already feel that political aggressiveness in my daily life due to violence, insecurity, poverty, and the economy. In every aspect of life, these repercussions were already being felt. But five years later, when ICE detained me to send me back to Mexico, the situation in Mexico was already threefold. Much, much worse than when I came here. So, considering my fear of being deported was already something that made me feel bad when I first came, hearing about the stories and experiences of people who had experienced tragedies in my absence in Mexico made me even more afraid to return to Mexico because I knew that I would be doing much worse than I’d already been when I first came to this country.

How was the journey here? Are there any particularly difficult experiences you can tell us about? 
I could say that I was confident because I decided to come after one of my brothers had been deported and he was going to try to come back here with my sister-in-law, so I said: “OK, now is the time to go.” I felt confident because, in a way, he had the experience of getting into this country but, unfortunately, when we were at the border, they separated us. My first fear was when they put me on a motorcycle because they were going to take me somewhere else. From then on I began to feel afraid of the violence that exists at the borders, you know?, because of drug trafficking. I didn’t know if my fear was simply because they could kidnap me or do something to me, but I had faith that I would be able to cross the border. And it was triggered by something very simple, wasn’t it? I was only riding a motorcycle, it was just a person in a motorcycle, but they don’t care about the people they carry with them. I was in the back of the motorcycle on a hill, and the roads, they go uphill and have bumps, and potholes. In terms of roads on the border, you can imagine the worst possible conditions. And this boy, because he was young, was going at full speed and he obviously didn’t care about his safety or mine. So, every time the motorcycle bounced, I felt like I was going to fall. I was going at great speed, but that was only the first scary thing and the easiest. My next fear came when we arrived at the place where they were going to take me to the other side because there were gangs arriving and watching me and I thought they were going to rob me, they were going to mug me, they could rape me, a thousand things could happen to me because that’s what you constantly hear. That moment passed and soon I was contacted by the person who was supposedly going to help me jump over the wall, which was another challenge because they wanted me to jump over a wall from very low ground and that was going to be complicated for me, and seeing the barbed wire above me, I already knew that was going to be difficult for me and I thought that by getting to the other side of the wall, just by jumping over it, I was sure I was going to fracture something when I fell and having to run after that… Anyway, I already saw it as very difficult and I refused. I refused to jump over the wall on that occasion and then the person who’d taken me to that place became violent, because he’d already assumed that they were going to get me to the other side and, when I refused, they didn’t know how to force me. Logically, they tried to scare me a lot but, for me, it was already more dangerous to try to jump than what they could do to me. And, fortunately, they took me back to my hotel, although already separated from my brothers, and they tried to make sure that they were going to make me cross in another place. There were three attempts in total and in order to not make the story too long, in all three it was something very similar. It involved walking very close to the border at night but through bushes. The most difficult thing this time was having to do it crawling, dragging my body across the floor and, of course, there were thorns and rocks. I wasn’t wearing something comfortable; my pants were very thin, so my knees were getting hurt, and my elbows too. And there was the fear that they would find me because we’d already tried it twice before. So I thought: “Either this time is the one or I’m going back to my country and I won’t try it again.” Fortunately, I managed to get through it, but I had to help the people who were with me, like a lady who was in front of me, because all of a sudden they would start running, then suddenly we had to crouch down or stop. All this was combined with the stress of the border and its cameras being just a few meters away and the thought that I might lose sight of the people who were guiding me and then what was I going to do? Where was I going to go? I didn’t have anything, no contacts, nothing. Anyway, that… it was a very stressful night for me, but I still felt that what I was going through, because of the stories I’d heard, I felt that, however difficult it was, what I was going through wasn’t that complicated and that in a way gave me hope, you know? I kept thinking that nothing bad was going to happen and that if I had positive thoughts, I was going to make it. And fortunately, we did manage to cross the border on that occasion. We crossed it and they picked us up in a taxi where we traveled like sardines in a can because there were a lot of us in the car, all lying on top of each other, very uncomfortable, but when you are thinking about getting to this country and about what you dream or want, I think there are things you don’t think about, either because of the adrenaline or because of the desire to be here. Anyway, we arrived at a house, they treated us very well, they gave us clothes and food and then we had to get on the plane. It was the same thing again. I was clueless. I don’t speak English, so I didn’t understand what they were saying at the airport, I didn’t understand what my ticket said, I didn’t understand what seat I was going to get… And all that, well, it scared me a lot because ICE was at the airport in Las Vegas and I kept thinking, at any time, because of my clothing, because of my appearance, they are going to detain me, they will send me back and well, I just followed the instructions of the people who were getting us in, simulating, acting. That’s what I did and, fortunately, well, nothing went wrong and I ended up here, finding my family in New York when I arrived by plane. And what can I say? Well, I was already happy. I was with my family, I was safe, and in my future there were new experiences, you know?, new challenges.

Do you think about those events often? 
No. Honestly, I only remember when I listen to other people’s experiences. Even more so lately, having heard a lot of stories of people seeking protection in this country. And because of what they’ve gone through, I feel fortunate not to have been through that, even regarding my compatriots. I know it’s much more difficult for people who come from other countries, but my compatriots, my own family, my brother who tried to come here again, he told me his stories about drug trafficking, about the army, about how they treated him. So the truth is that I felt very fortunate that, although at the time I was afraid and a lot of things could have happened to me, as I was very exposed, I felt very fortunate about what I went through, in the sense that, in the end, it was simple.

Is there anything in particular that you think about often?
Well, I often think that the skills I’ve acquired here are going to be my tools, they are going to be my support when I return to Mexico. For example, learning photography. I feel that, when I return to Mexico, there’s going to be a lot I can practice and capture from my own land, from my life there. But also, contributing to the community. And that’s also something I’ve learned being here; trying to contribute in some way. I believe that is the way to change, that I can change, make a change, me and everyone, too: contributing with the small things, helping others. And in my case, I feel that the fact that I’ve acquired knowledge in photography, a little in the language, and a lot in learning about other cultures, will help me be more empathetic with my environment when I return to Mexico to support them.

How do you feel when you think about that? 
I try not to think about it too much, honestly. As I said, I don’t think much about the future, so I know that I’m going to return to my land but, because of my economic situation where I am living day to day, I know that it’s my decision because I could live better financially in Mexico, but then I would stop doing other activities that I like, such as photography, or I would end up with a job I don’t like just to get by. And that’s not what I want. My life, I believe, involves enjoying every day as if it were my last, seeing the good in everything. If I have a job, that’s good; if I don’t, that’s good; if I learn photography, that’s good. And, in that sense, I feel like if I return to Mexico then I will return without a job, without any economic support. So I avoid thinking, precisely, about that, about returning to my land. I’d rather try to stay here for now and make the most of the opportunities that arise. Every time I hear about an opportunity like a cultural event, I say: “I’ll go”, and I learn and take pictures. Those are the things that make me happy.

I know the situation you faced is very difficult and I can put myself in your shoes. Does it affect you today? Tell me how the situation you faced may be affecting you now.
It affected me, I would say, when ICE stopped me because at that time my life was very uncertain. I didn’t know anything, I thought: “If they send me back to Mexico, what am I going to do? I’m going to go back in the same situation I came in, but worse”, because, really, the stories, the news… And it was obvious that the insecurity in Mexico was extreme, it was very bad. The kidnappings, the rapes, the extortions, a lot which was already taking place while I was living in Mexico but, knowing that it was 300% worse or even more, it was already an enormous fear for me, going back to Mexico. And it seemed horrible to me that the justice or the people here, because I had no record of any crime being committed against me, acted as if I were immune to anything ever happening to me, you know? And it was very obvious because in Mexico there was news about constant tragedies due to drug trafficking, which we now know was linked to the government I was afraid of at that time. Nowadays, some of the people who were part of that government are in jail for drug trafficking, so my fear really wasn’t unfounded, it wasn’t imaginary, right? And well, it’s… It’s sad to think about that because of the lives that were lost, because of those who went missing, who are too many, and I was obviously worried about the possibility of something happening to my family in Mexico, you know? That my dad would be kidnapped because they knew he had family here in the United States or that my mom would be kidnapped was a constant fear for the whole family. We always tried to advise them not to talk about us, not to talk about their economic situation because it was very clear that they were constantly kidnapping people. So I try, honestly, not to think about it. I always think more about positive things.

Did you ever imagine that you could handle that situation?
Yes. In fact, when… before coming here, I was in school in Mexico and my idea was to stay in Mexico due to different things that were going on there regarding school, my relationship with my partner, and so on, but I knew that I had that commitment to my family of coming here. But that’s it, saying: “I can do it”, I do it and I come back, I do it and I come back, right? So, really, the strength has always been in me, given to me by my family.

How were you able to survive or overcome it? Have you created any strategies or coping mechanisms to overcome difficult moments or painful memories, to find strength and support? 
Life has taught me that, every time something negative happens, it’ll bring a very positive experience that wouldn’t have happened if the negative thing hadn’t happened first. In this case, when ICE detained me because I decided to stay in this country, I met the person who helped me get out of ICE, helped me solve that problem, and that same person helped me contact another and that person helped me find a way to contact someone who taught photography. And from then on a new world began, a new life.

Before the event that led you to flee your home occurred, what was your dream? Before you fled your country.
Well, I thought… my idea was that I was going to end up being a chemical engineer. I was studying engineering. But, I realized when I was here, that at the time I felt that it was a little too much… It was quite a challenge, too difficult, to finish that course of studies. And then I saw it as: “Ok, I do want to be an engineer, I want to.” I did see myself working in a laboratory, but my true purpose was to teach, you know? And then, seeing how difficult finishing my degree was becoming, plus the fact that my other dream was to be a teacher, seeing the many illiterate people that there were in Mexico, I said: “Okay, but I can also finish my current degree and it will allow me to teach.” When I saw that I couldn’t finish my degree, my idea was to go to the Escuela Normal, where people study to become teachers but, unfortunately, when I left my career to try to get into the Escuela Normal, the age limit they had changed, and I was no longer allowed to study there. I was just over that limit, so I couldn’t be a teacher anymore, which was a dream of mine, you know?, in the sense that I saw myself teaching other people, supporting other people in other towns to help them learn how to read, how to write, mathematics, basic things that, even if they were basic, would change their lives drastically.

When you were leaving your home, your land, what was your dream for the future? What did you dream about? 
Well, to see my family, honestly. That was my biggest motivation. It was, more than anything, why I came here. I had fears and I had other reasons, but the strongest of them all and what moved me the most was being with my family, because I hadn’t seen them in a while. I knew about their lives from their videos and their calls but I felt nostalgic, a great nostalgia because, in the end, I shared my childhood with them and they made that childhood better, they gave me a lot of joy and them not being around during my adolescence and youth hurt me a lot, so all I wanted was to get here and be with them, to live with them again.

Before we move on to the next and final question, we want to know how you feel, what your hopes are and what challenges you are facing. 
Well, my hope, my wish is… I learned photography and I want, at some point, to feel as happy and proud as I did when I went to see a photographer who had done an essay. Honestly, I don’t remember the author, but I saw his photo essay and it shocked me and I know that he impacted society as well because he’s someone who is studied in schools, you know? Well, that is my dream; that at some point I will be able to have the ability to take this kind of photograph in which I can transmit something. On the one hand, for it to transmit something to me, for it to make me feel like I did when I saw the photographs of this person. But, on the other hand, to achieve that same effect that it had on me that day, to influence other people, to motivate them to change or get artistic inspiration through my photographs. Or, to influence in the sense of support. Now I picture myself, when I return to my land, with the knowledge I have, well, giving young people those same… That’s my idea. My dream is that, when I return to my land, I will be able to contribute my knowledge to the well-being of my community, so that I will probably inspire young people and children to learn photography. Now that technology is so accessible, which it wasn’t in my time, well, it might inspire them and maybe, in that sense, it can change their lives a little for the better.

Before leaving your country, what were your strengths? Have you kept them in case you can move forward? What was your strength like at that time? 
I think that I had enough self-confidence before leaving my country, and a lot of hope, the hope that things would get better. And that hasn’t changed. It didn’t change during the journey here, it didn’t change when I got here, it didn’t change when ICE detained me and so far it’s still there. It is actually growing because I’m acquiring more knowledge and I’m getting to have new experiences that make me see life in a different way and be more empathetic about the lives and misfortunes of other people, and I think all that has enriched me as a person and gave me a lot of confidence in myself. 

What you have been through seems really difficult. Do you feel that you have grown in any way as a result of this experience or that something positive has come out of it?
I think it was difficult but, compared to stories I’ve heard from other people, mine was really simple. But it has helped me grow, it has helped me grow a lot. I think my life would be totally different if I’d stayed in my country. I would probably be a more oppressed and more closed-minded person.

What are your hopes or dreams for the future, today?
Well, from my point of view, they are already being fulfilled because, when I was in Mexico, my hope, my dream, my idea was that we would have greater opportunities in general, you know? More rights, a different structure. I mean, just to get into school… I managed to do it, but there were many who couldn’t. And now that I’m here, I see that my dream is indeed coming true because the government that exists now, that is currently governing, has made a great change in all of society in Mexico. People really think differently, people have more hope, as I do with my hope of returning to Mexico and that I will no longer have that fear that I had before, of being kidnapped, of my family being kidnapped, of not having job opportunities, of all the insecurity that existed, of listening to my own neighbors who’d been raped, tragedies so, so regrettable. So I believe that, in that respect, that dream has been fulfilled, that my country is doing better politically, socially, and culturally, in every way. And my future dream is that one day I will return and all the experience I’ve gained over the course of my life can help or serve other people.

As part of the 1000 Dreams project team, we thank you very much for answering all these questions. Is there anything you would like to add that might help people better understand your experience or the lives of refugees here? 
Well, yes, now that you mention this 1000 Dreams project uh… On the one hand, it’s an opportunity for me to contribute what I know as a photographer; to contribute to society. But, on the other hand, I’m very grateful for projects and people like these from 1000 Dreams, because, although there are institutions and organizations that help other people and that haven’t helped me, I’m very grateful to those organizations because I could’ve been those people, you know? At some point, someone helped me overcome all the problems I was facing and in that sense, I’m grateful to 1000 Dreams and other people.

Well, thank you so much, Erik.