Ismael Elhassane

full interview

Hello, hi. My name is Abdul Aziz. 
And my name is Ismael.

In this project we are doing an interview with refugee people. Hey, we’re helping people, you know? But we’re taking pictures too. These can appear on social networks, or in… agendas, you know? And your family can see you too, you know? They’re photos of you, too, you know? And if there’s no problem, you can confirm it with us. And if everything goes well with the interview… If everything is clear you can tell us too. 
Well… [unintelligible] Well, when I take pictures, but on the left, you know? I mean, I’m just preferring the left, you know?

Because in the photos… I want to explain to you in the photos you can go out like this… this, you can pose like this… like that. Whatever you want, you know? If you want to show your face, it’s okay, if you don’t want to, you can do this or that. Whatever you want, you know? Well, let’s start with the interview. 
Yes, we can start.

Okay. The first question I want to ask you is what… what type of housing do you live in? What type of housing do you live in? 
For now… For now I’m sleeping on the street. I’m feeling really cold, I know when it’s coming… I mean, when. For now… when the storm came… I caught a lot of cold, fever, snot. When people pass by, I see, I notice the moments that they laugh and complain about people who sleep on the street... They happen. Well, that’s how it happened to me and I don’t know. I don’t listen, you know?

Okay, okay. Okay, well, I’ll ask you another question as well. Mm, who do you live with? Who do you live with now? 
Well, at the moment I’m sleeping on the street and share it with those close to me. [redacted] they say they come back. Well, they’ll leave if you don’t get on board. So we set up ourselves. I said well, I don’t have a place to sleep… I don’t have a place to… [unintelligible] Well, the truth is, it’s really hard, you know? In my mind, I can’t how to… sell. Something like that, you know? Otherwise, the neighbors always complain [redact ] because, that is, because the kids who had come before, who had come drugged, that there were kids on drugs, or doing bad things and… The neighbors who already know that they say that we… I know that I come to sleep here. And there are the people who are drunk, drinking and that’s really bad.

Oh, okay. And don’t you sleep with someone there? With you, a couple, a friend, anything? 
No. No, just me.

Oh, you sleep alone. Good. Mm, mm, how? I want to ask you too. How do you… How do you spend your time here? Are you working, or something? 
Okay, for now, no, I’m not working. But I know that the… time is wasting, you know? I’m losing time. Close to the end, I will think why has the time gone by so fast. And I don’t know why.

And you don’t do something, anything, a course? 
Yes, I’m currently taking a course. Because yesterday we finished, on the 27th here when I have to do my practice in the laundry room, you know? On the 27th we are like one, a washing machine. How is the washing machine? How should clothes be washed? How do you wash clothes? Like… like… liquid, oxygenated. You know what it’s like.

Yes. Okay, that’s fine. And… and the second question I want to ask you, what… What are some of the things that bring you joy? 
The truth is, I think, well, I love traveling, seeing my family, you know? To see. It’s just a long time ago. And… I mean, in 2017, when I was a little sleeping at home, and at three o’clock at night my mother knows that when she wakes me up she must come to my room. She knows that I’m not here, that I haven’t come to… as an outcast and such. She [unintelligible], not knowing where I am. I’m inside, inside a children’s center. I come in with dirty clothes, you know? I go with [unintelligible] I can enter the local police saying that we have decided that we have no family or father or anything. They know that we have no family. That’s to get us a future, you know?

And does this bring you joy? 
Yes, it gives me joy. Yes. When I was there, when I entered the juvenile school, well, we’ve been through a lot, well… When I was little because, well… They hit me, you know? That’s normal. Because for people who’ve been three years, eight years is the norm, you know? It’s like no never… It’s like we’ve never been to… we have been through… As in life everything happens.

Huh? And how… how have you… How has life been since you arrived in Europe? 
Well, ever since I arrived in Europe, I’ve been coming with my friend named Lucero. You know him, don’t you? And there was also a day when we slept on the beach, you know? We took out one, a shack, you know? And when we have slept like this, you could have some cold days. We slept on rainy days. I’m not going to lie to you. It’s just that we’ve had a really hard time. Much… much worse.

And what… what was good about being here? What was good about being here? What has been good? A good thing. 
Good. Yes. Thank you. They have helped me here by acting like this. But… I made mistakes, I made mistakes, but… Now I’ve changed the way, the attitude, I’ve changed the way I think, you know? I’m already thinking more precisely, more… you know? More understood.

Has it been difficult for you? Difficult for you? Difficult, how is it to live like this, is it difficult for you? 
It’s very difficult for me to sleep now. 

It’s hard for you. And can you describe how living here has made you feel? How do you feel? 
Yes, now. Because the thing is… well, I… well, I’ve remembered a lot of kids because they’re good people and I’ve spent a lot of time with them, you know? So, they’re good, you know?

Does this make you feel bad? 
No, no, no. It doesn’t make me feel anything.

And you can… And how does it make you feel to be away from the rest of your family? And how much do you care about the sacraments, about inheritance? Can you describe it to me? 
Okay, the only thing. I’m worried about my family. My mother always told me that I didn’t have to smoke or hang out with… She doesn’t… She doesn’t know. She. When I’ve been out on the street, I’ve made up excuses. I haven’t told my mother, you know? If I tell her, if I have said this, she is going to be very sick, very crazy, right. She’s going to be really sick, you know? She’s going to be really mad, you know?

And you might have ever imagined [unintelligible]. 
Yes. My family does. I like it. Well, I’m very interested in finding a job and also to provide for my family. Keep… Buy things she, they need. My mother wanted me [unintelligible].

And I also want to ask you one thing. It’s already… Before the event that led you out of your house occurred, what was your dream? I repeat the question, before the event that took you far from home, what was your dream? 
Well, the only thing about my dream is that I see everything too bad. And today I know that I left my house because of that [unintelligible], you know? And I left without knowing. Well, I didn’t tell my family I was leaving, I left at night. Well, I went to Melilla and I entered in the morning, at six in the morning, I entered Melilla like this.

It’s okay. And which one…? Which one…? While leaving your house, what was your dream for your future? For your future? 
For my future? When I left school at 16, that was my future. It was my future, you know? Because life was so bad. I mean… I studied. I studied from… to sixth grade. Because there are teachers, I haven’t studied, because I… Well, I’ve lost a lot of opportunities to take exams and such. I’ve lost everything and when I get home, I throw my backpack away and go play soccer. And nothing, it’s just that. Well, it’s just that when I took a test I didn’t answer well, you know? Teachers are explaining… My mother asked me to drop out of school, you know?

And before leaving your home country, what do you discover as your strengths? Have you felt it? And if so, tell me why. 
Well, because I met a lot of kids when I entered the children’s center in Melilla who played a lot of roles, you know? And that’s why I’m still with them, with them. To say my future. For also my family and such. And when I enter the center, I’ve had a lot, well, a lot of blows. They beat me, they abused me. They also took my clothes away, you know? They say this isn’t Norway… because they’ve… well, they have been here for a long time, you know? They’ve been around a long time, and I’ve had a long time seeing… a lot of pimples, you know? It’s just that it itches a lot. And for three months I haven’t showered, but thank God I got rid of all this. And when I leave the house, I leave my mother as if abandoned. She knows. She told me, I always dream of you and I thought that [unintelligible] and when I came, when the one who is [unintelligible] comes, she told me that it’s just a dream. Just a dream. And when I fell down, my mother was crying, she told me why I left her like this. Why haven’t you told me? Yes, well, yes. You know, I’ve had to tell her.

Well, what has happened, does it seem difficult to feel that you have grown in any way as a result of this experience or has there been something positive about it? 
Well, my mother loved me very much. Well, life in Morocco is very difficult because they pay you very little, I did an electricity gig one day when a customer left, and I spent an afternoon. A practice, like that. It was good… The thing is that when a person doesn’t understand, doesn’t understand, they lower the wiring, raise the wiring, and cut off the light. And like each one, I don’t know [unintelligible].

And is this difficult for you? 
Well, it’s very difficult because well, [unintelligible] one day he brought me a little dough, you know? When I’m in need, you know?

Hey, and what are your hopes and dreams for the future now? 
Well, for me my future lies in studying some training and the truth is I’m interested in finding a job a little… end of… Hey, to have a room after work, to support the family, and to be able to be with them for five or six months. Well, at least a month, so she can see that I… she who doesn’t see me for a long time, doesn’t see me how I am. I…

Well, we really appreciate that you answered all of these questions. Is there anything you would like to add that can help people in Europe better understand the lives of refugees here? We appreciate you answering the questions I asked you, is there anything you would like to add to help people in Europe understand how refugees live here? 
Hm, yes. I’d like you to, I‘d appreciate it if you could help, you know? To people who are on the street because they have been suffering from cold. Well, now they’re sleeping on the street with cardboard because… Well, it’s really bad, you know? The neighbors complain,[redact], and those who leave… can fine us [unintelligible]. Give it a chance.