Katayon Atayi

full interview

Hello, Katayon.  
Hello.

When did you arrive in France?  
September 2016.

And what country do you come from?  
I’m from Karaj, near Teheran, capital of Iran, yes.

So where do you live in Paris?  
I live in Paris in the 12th district, now, in a small studio.

Are you happy with your living conditions?
Yes, I’m glad now for…  Because here, I live in freedom and I work for myself.  Now it’s good.  But always I hear about my country and I am sad because every day someone killed in my country.  I don’t know…  I don’t know you know that a week before, a journalist was killed in Iran.  I’m very sad, really.  Why?  Why?  I know this journalist.  He’s…  He has two children, two daughters, a granddaughter, and who is now six years…  Really sad.

When you think…  When you think about your country, are you sad?  
Yes, yes, always.  Now that you take pictures of me, for me in…  I remember that in Iran, that…  In the prison they take pictures of me.  Actually, sometimes I didn’t express well, but…  Not finished, when a refugee who leaves, leaves…  Your country it’s not finished, it’s memory and it’s facts.

So it follows you?  
Yes, yes.

Can you find moments when you really feel free and think of something else?  
I don’t understand well…

Are there moments, short moments…  How to say, are there times in the day or when you do something, that you feel free from all this?  
Yes yes yes, when I work, when I sew, I don’t think anything.  I’m calm and free.  

So sewing helps you?  And before you arrived, you were a seamstress in Iran?  
Before, there is not revolution, I…  I’m…  I was a high school teacher.  But after that revolution, forbidden for me to work.  Government sent me a letter that you’re not…  You’re forbidden to be a teacher, because you’re not Islamic.  But my father is Muslim and my mother is Muslim.  And it says “you are not Islamic”, the Islam that the government now chooses.

You were a high school sewing teacher?  
No, no, no, I…  Chemistry.

When did you start sewing then?  
I started at forty years.

This… Did you like it or how did it come about?  
Yes, now very…  For me, it’s very pleasing.  First to spend my life, my life of…  My child.  To earn the money, I chose to sew.  And now it’s very enjoyable.

You were doing sewing already, even when you were a professor? You used to sew on the side?  You already knew how, or did you really start afterwards?  
No. When I was little, too.  I don’t know when I really started, maybe when I was 10 years old, I began to sew.  But for the…  As a profession, I start at 40 years and now 20 years…  21 years I have experience in sewing.

Do you want to tell us why you had to flee your country?  Why did you have to leave your country?  
Because in my country there is not freedom.  When I choose sewing, every day a problem in my country.  For example, once I wanted to make a collection of clothes, I used a fabric that is a bit transparent, a fabric that is transparent.  For me, it’s a problem that…  forbidden, forbidden, its not possible.  Once I went to jail…  Once I…  How do they say, sorry…  Like this (mimics a whip) “shh”.

Whipped?  Lashes on the back.  
Yes. It’s… Why, really?  Many difficulties for me and my daughter who is growing up, also she struggled in Iran and after I left my country.

How did you feel when you had to leave your country?  When you left?  
Sad, really.  I think every person who leaves their country, sad.  It’s not nice.  But when I arrived here, first I’m sad, I’m sick.  I went at a doctor’s to…  I don’t know now how they say…  (shows their head).

For your ears?  
No, for…  In my head, a lot of things do not turn well…

A psychiatrist, a psychologist?  
Yes, yes, yes, psychologist…  After that…  After I got here, it’s the Nomad Factory really changed my life.

When you arrived here, you were thinking about becoming…  To continue to be a seamstress here in France?  
Yes, I…  First when I arrive in France, I never, never do I think it is possible that I start using my sewing experience for work.  I never think.  I think it’s not possible…  Maybe I will, for example, mind children or maybe, for example, in a restaurant, I work in a restaurant…  And after I got to know the Nomad Factory, it really change my life.

Can you tell us how…  How do you say, how did you feel when you started again sewing ?  When you started sewing again on a machine, here.  
I didn’t really understand…

The question?  Right, when you started sewing on a machine here again, how did you feel?  
I said that I was, so calm and a little happy.  I forget…  I forgot my past.  “Now I start in today,” you know.  The present.  And when I…  When, every day, when I sit at the machine, for me very good thing, because I do not think…  I don’t think anything.

Are there other things that give you strength, besides sewing?  Are there any other things?  You were talking about your daughter, is there family too?  
Yes, yes.  Now I live alone.  My daughter who…  My daughter lives in Toulouse, another daughter lives in Italy…  My oldest daughter lives in Paris, but I go to her home once a week.  I not much talk with someone, but at Dior, at the workshop where I work, I speak with my colleagues, they are very nice, I speak with them.

They also help you to live, to continue…  
Yes, yes, they’re really nice, and share with me their experience, because…  A little different methods in sewing.

Nowadays, do you often think of Iran and what’s going on there ?  
No. When… Until when…  There are Akhoondi dictators in Iran, I do not, I do not return to Iran.  I’m staying here.

I was wondering…  Did you ever think, when you were younger, did you ever think you would have to leave your country?  
No, because when I was very young, 22 years, my work was banned and to me…  Gave me.. The government give me a letter that forbid for me, teaching work.  We can leave my country.  When I was 22 years old, it’s possible with this letter that comes, for example…  I come, for example, here give letter that banned me from working and be refugees.  But I stayed in my country.  My husband in prison, me in prison and after my daughter is grown up – my daughter is in prison!  I said, “not possible, not possible like that.”  First of all, I still think that this government is over…  But not finished!  Now 40 years that they remained in my country these dictators.

It’s sad.  
Very sad really.

You were talking about your colleagues, at Dior, and your work in Dior.  Do you want to tell us a little bit about what you’re doing, you are a seamstress at Dior ?  
Yes, yes, now it’s one year I’ve been working at Dior.  First, twice…  this CDD contract (temporary contract) – in French – and now, that CDD is twice ended and now, start CDI contract (permanent contract).  So always I work at Dior and…  I give you an example that my feeling at Dior.  Every day, I get up at six in the morning and really I’m happy for the…  To prepare my…  departure from home, to Dior.  For example, all the people who…  “I don’t like get up morning very quickly and go to work”.  But for me, I rise very quickly for my job.

Is it a pleasure?  
Yes, I like it a lot, I like it a lot.  Because, really, they gave me all the things I don’t have in my life.  Give me stability, give me security and social status.  

Okay, and when you came to France, you remember what was really the hardest thing?  You told me about all this…  Of everything that weighed down on you and, that you went to see a psychologist to help you.  Were there any other things that were difficult here when you arrived?  You didn’t speak French…  
When I arrived here, I did not speak French, now like it is four years now, still, I do not speak well.  When I arrive in France I can not say “hello”, really, nothing in French.  Second difficulty for me, that I think I, with 57 — age, and not being…  and difficulty talking.  “What am I doing here?”  Still, I think “what am I doing”?  Me, it won’t be possible for me to work…  like that.

And at that time, what helped… It was the Nomad Factory, really, that helped you a lot?  
Really. A lot helped me the Nomad Factory.  Thanks to the Nomad Factory I work at Dior.  If I didn’t come here, the…  Dior wouldn’t know me.  It is the Nomad Factory and all the staff of the Nomad Factory.  Lots of energy.  Here is a happy mood and a lot of energy, which really change a person who is shy like me, and sad.  Now I don’t…  I don’t go to the psychologist.  I… I’m sleeping well.  Everything changed for me.  Now, my sadness, it’s information that comes from my country, really.  Here, no problem for me.

Thank you very much Katayon.  
Thank you.

Just one final question for the project.  I always ask refugees what their dream was before coming to France, before they were forced to leave their country.  
Before I come to Paris in France, my dream is not…  Is not in a foreign country.  My dream is in my country.  Because I can’t…  I have to leave my country.  In my country that…  My dream is I live in freedom with my children.  But now, now I…  Now I have another dream.  My dream is for my country, that I would like my country to be free.  And all the…  All the people who live in Iran live in freedom like here, like here.  Here for…  Personal, my personal dream that I improve my work and improve my…  speaking French.

It’s very beautiful.  Thank you very much Katayon.  
Thank you.