Shegzywise

full interview

Okay. Um, please, can you start by telling us who you are? Your name. 
Yeah.

Your name and where you’re from. 
My name is Shegzywise. I’m from Nigeria. 

And what kind of housing do you live in? 
In Nigeria or in here?

No, here 
Eah, I’m living in a one room apartment. There is a three bedroom flat, but I rented a room, so a one room apartment.

Okay. Can you describe the conditions of where you’re living. 
What? 

Can you describe the conditions 
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s not bad. It’s manageable, So. At least a little bit comfortable.

Okay. So who do you live with?
Uh, I live with, uh, the, you know, the three bedroom flat. And also sharing a room apartment with my. My brother from another country.

Okay. How do you spend your time here? Do you work? 
Yeah, I’m working now. Presently, I’m working. Yeah. Let me see my days go like this. Uh, in the morning because I’m a footballer. So I wake up in the morning, I go for training, like one hour, one hour thirty minutes. After that, I prepare for work. So I think I have five hours working. Five working hours. So after that, I come back home in the evening. Try to do some little stuff. Go through my Bible, read my Bible, pray. That’s how I spend my days. Most most of the times.

Interesting. What’s what are some of the things that bring you joy? 
Oh, that’s a very good question. What really bring me joy is, I can, oh, let me say. Let me say Love. Yeah. When I. When I. When I feel love or be in the midst of people and lovely people. Yeah, it’s really give me a lot of joy. So aside that uh playing football. Playing football give me a lot of joy as well. And also, have my private time with God also give me joys.

Beautiful. And how does that make you feel? 
Oh, it makes me really feel very fine, feel great. I feel great. So I feel great once I’m in the midst of people I love or where there is love. I really feel great whenever I’m with my football training or playing. I always feel very, very happy, you know? And also, when I’m talking to my maker, He gives me much relief. So.

Okay. How has life been since you arrived in Europe?
Wow. It has not been easy. You know. Uh, We are no changing of our environment or let me say the changing of a foreign land is not always easy because we look at different Africa, to Europe, to where you have no idea of the culture. No family. No one. Only you. It’s really, really tough. But with the help of God. Crudely, I started adapt adapting to the to the culture where we have the idea. But it’s not easy. It’s really, really, really difficult. Very, very difficult because I went through a lot of things. You know, you are in the sea because suddenly the language barrier, the food. No friends, no other stuff.

And how did that make you feel?
Oh, you know, there is no way, you can’t be happy in that kind of situation where there is no family, where there is no one to talk to. And. Just being alone by yourself.

Hmm.
So no way are you going to feel sad and feel worry. Yeah, because it’s just like you all alone in the room. No one to talk to you. Nowhere to go. No family, No friends. No people to communicate with. So it’s not easy. I feel so very bad, if not because of, I mean. Let me say. I mean. I mean kind of a person I believe in God, you know I would. I said I. It will lead to depression. You know the reason why I said it would have lead to depression is this. I came into a country that I know nobody. And I have to survive. To pay our rent, to eat, to feed myself. And there is no work.

Mm hmm. 
So thinking about different things. Leaving to another country entirely. I find those in a kind of a situation that, you know, you have no power to to to control. So it’s really difficult. It’s really difficult. I find it very, very difficult. That that has been one of my difficult moments in life. One of my difficult moments in life. So it’s really difficult.

Okay. And if I may ask, how did you come to Europe? 
Yeah, I came through, through my football. Yeah. it’s through my football. I got I got invited by a club in Alicante. Mm hmm. From Nigeria. Okay. So they sent me all the necessary documents, and I got a visa to come over to Europe. So I came, I came with, uh. With the club invited me.

Okay, All right. So what’s what’s been good about being here? What’s been the good thing? 
The good thing is that, you know, it’s good to to experience different things. So I have more experience about life. More experience about life, apart from the one I had in my country. So I haven’t experienced that. The good thing is I have the opportunity to know more. Now, let me put it that way. I have the ability to know more, to learn more. So does.

And what’s what has been difficult about being here? 
What has been difficult is the let me say language because I didn’t I find it difficult to understand the language. If I do, I try. But I find it very, very difficult that the most difficult thing is the language for me for now is the language.

Okay. And how does that make you feel? 
I it made me feel sad because it really I depriving me of associating myself with a lot of people, you know? Yeah. Because there are some people who like to talk to you or who I would like even to talk to, but due to the language barrier, I can’t speak. And they can’t speak the language you understand. So I feel bad, I feel bad.

Like when you say you feel bad, what type of emotion do you feel? 
Uh, you know, it’s what kind of. The kind of emotion I have is. Uh, how shall I, how shall I put it that would make you understand, you know? It’s it’s just that, like, well, with something is opposite of each other. Yeah that’s, when something is opposite opposite of each other. That was that was how I felt, you know? I met you. I wanted to talk to you. But I wasn’t able to communicate to you. Mm hmm. And you know, so the only way to communicate is just like. What an opposite. Yeah. So that’s, that’s, that’s how it is.

Okay. And can you describe how living here has made you feel? Like living here in Spain.
It’s really made me feel very good. Yeah. It make me, even though the language barrier is devastating, I still feel good. I feel happy because. No problem. Yeah, I feel good.

Okay. So how does being away from the rest of your family and away from your home make you feel? 
Wow, man. Sometimes it’s really made me feel bad because I’m kind of a person that I love my family a lot. You know, I cherish my family, a lot, a lot, I cherish my family a lot. So I love being around my people, around my family. But. It is what it is. So you can’t just be okay because of you cherish your family. You just have to explore some other things. So family is there forever. Family is there for life. So. But I am not feeling happy because I love being with my family. And as much as I am not feeling happy. I’m loving it. Yeah.

Okay. Um. So how, how does the feeling of not belonging, uh, to like, a group of people, or as you say, not being able to speak the language. 
Okay.

Or some kind of discrimination, maybe like racism or stigma?
Hmm.

How how does it impact you? Can you describe?
Yeah, I mean. I mean, I’m a kind of person that something really get into me, you know, so, uh, not speaking the language or not able to be in the midst of a group of people. Mm hmm. It doesn’t affect me.

Mm hmm. 
The reason why I say as it doesn’t, I’m a kind of person that I don’t,something doesn’t get to me easily, you know?

Mm hmm.
There is no difficult things are I would just find my way of going through this process. So it’s a process. So I’m not fully in that part?

Yeah. Could you ever have imagined that you would have been able to handle this situation? How have you been able to overcome or survive or live with this? 
Yeah. Yeah. Like I said earlier, I mean, I’m a kind of person that things doesn’t get too easily. So let me see. I’m able to survive for this thing because. Firstly, I love myself. So that is the most important thing. So which other things that come after? The love I have for myself surpassed all those stuff. So with that, all this thing is unable to get to me much and get a little. Because so far I love myself, am working on myself. So if I’m unable to associate with others doesn’t mean I shouldn’t enjoy myself. So those are the reason when I’m able to overcome all these things, and I love God. So with the help of God and the love I have for myself, I’m able to overcome.

Okay. And do you think that you have developed the ability to deal with these challenges or do you think you always had those skills, those strengths or resilience? Yeah. So do you think that you’ve developed the ability to deal with these challenges that you’ve faced since you came to Spain? Or do you think you have always had the ability? 
I think I’ve, should I say I have overcome it? No, don’t let me use the word overcome because so far I wasn’t able to speak the language. So that means I haven’t overcome it. But I’m finding I have ways of going along with it. Yeah. I mean, let me put it that way. I have ways of like. Like, let me say, I have solution to it. But I haven’t overcome it. But once it’s arrive, I always have a solution for it.

So if you can tell me just a little bit, how, what are your ways, like, of getting around it? How do you deal with it? Like in your ways, in your own way? 
You know, like if now, if you are to talk about the language stuff, you know, and I have to pass a message across to someone else, I think, I have my Google translator. So with that, yeah, I think with that, that one is helping me a lot. And sometimes I just Google type and try to say the words myself instead of, you know. So I think, those are the things, those are the ways I go sometimes. Those are the ways I go sometimes.

How has, um, Covid 19 affected you in terms of daily life, in your mood, feeling or emotional well-being? 
Yeah, the thing happened when I was in my country, so it don’t really affect me much because, uh, I’m around my family. Like I said, I cherish my family a lot, so once I’m around my family. So no matter we are going through with love, we are fine, we are okay. So it is only after, there is no free movement. That’s the only way it affected. There is no free movement. The places you used to go before the [unclear word] you used to go before. You are unable to do that anymore. That was the only way it affected them.

And in that moment. And how how did it feel like for you.
I don’t really feel, well because I’m kind of in the present, so I’m not that kind of person that go out much apart from go to the field of playing, go to the footballs, field to go watch football. So aside that, go to church. So aside that I stay in my home.

Okay. Yeah. So let’s talk a bit about your… your past.
Okay.

Um, why did you leave your country? And can you describe what happened? 
The reason I left my country is because of. I think it’s because of my career. Yeah. No. I have this dream of becoming a professional footballer. Yeah. So, there, that’s the reason why I left my country, to pursue my career. To explore another country. To showcase my talents in another avenue or how should I put it. So those are the reason why, that is the reason I left my country to pursue my career to become a professional footballer. Hmm. Yeah.

And if I may ask, did you have an um, where there some things you saw in your country that made you feel, um. Terrified or bad. Maybe some political situation. 
Yeah. Yeah, that was, that was, that was one day. I think there was this peaceful rally. I thought. I think it’s 2020, 21. I think if I could remember, there’s this peaceful rally then and all of a sudden there is gunshots everywhere. Youth being killed, oh, that’s that’s one of the most scary moments. Mhm. That’s one of the more scary moments that I experienced in my country.

So how did you manage to escape that.
No, no. It’s not that I. Maybe I was not on the scene.

Mhm. 
But watching those things happening.

Mhm. 
Make me terrified, you know. So I wasn’t, I was not on the particular scene, but watching it happening does really make me somehow sad. And in that scene, nothing happened to me. Mhm. When I, when I got broken leg, so I feel terrified. Yeah. Is shaking. Wow. What is this? When I go back on a new field of play. So those are determined by, I guess.

So. And how how did it make you feel at the time? It was like experiencing these or hearing about these gunshots, people doing something peaceful and they end up losing their lives. 
You know, it is, I feel so very very bad. You know, no one would feel happy about that If if you have blood running your vein, you won’t feel happy or feel realizing about that because then youth going out protest peacefully. And what they are protesting for is their right. Mhm. They are protesting for their right and at the end of that they end up losing their life for no reason. For no reason. So it’s really terrible. I feel very, very bad, it’s so bad to witness and to hear that kind of thing. It’s really bad.

Okay. And do you, do you think about these events often? 
Yeah. Sometimes, you know, these, these are youth like us, like me, young guys, young girls. Like just to take their life. Well, for no reason end up losing their life. So. I do think about it sometimes.

And, you know, like when when you think about it, is there something in particular that you think about? 
You know, you know, it can just come any time, any time because you might just be sitting down, be thinking about life. And also, you remember, oh, I could have been person or those people that dies this the time because of this. So it it can come any time. Any time. Hmm. And it can maybe, maybe when you’re watching TV and you see something, see something like that. It will be bad, the memory. So it’s it can come, keep coming any time. Any time. I can just see maybe even sometimes it can come like three, four times in the day.

Mm hmm. 
Yeah. Sometimes it can go a week and months without even thinking about it. So that’s how it is.

Okay. So what do you feel when you think about that? Like when that thing comes.
When that kind of thought came, you know, you feel down because it might be me.

Mm hmm.
So you just feel down. You see a place, that particular moment, you feel sad. You feel sad. You feel sad. So. always feel sad.

So does the situation you face you faced affect you today? 
No, no, really. Like I said, it, I mean, it kind of is really the first time that can get to me. Not doesn’t affect me.

Hmm.
Yeah. I’m just a kind of a I have blood on my vein.

Mm hmm. 
I might feel it as a sort of concerns or this, but doesn’t affect me in any way. It doesn’t affect my thinking. It doesn’t affect the way I see things, doesn’t affect what I wanted to become in life, or in future.

Could you ever have imagined that you would have been able to handle that situation? 
Yeah. No, you know, uh. I mean, less extricable, so. Yeah. The way I was brought up where I grew up. So nothing in the. So nothing in new. It’s normal. Sometimes nothing new.

Mhm. 
So if I come into those things there is no a challenge and so it’s fairly easy because it’s like what you see or hear. You, it won’t be new to you anymore. So. that’s just this. 

Okay. So how were you able to survive or get through it? Have you created any kind of strategy or mechanism to get through the hard times of difficult memories? 
No, I don’t have. I was just. This mean. Like. Like. Okay, Let me see. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. So. Mm hmm. Uh, I don’t know how. I didn’t create anything. I know nothing.

You don’t have any kind of…
I don’t have any kind of strategies. No.

Okay. all right. 
The strategy is natural ..It’s in the blood.

When do you find strength in support? 
I does strength from my maker, which is god. Jesus Christ, is my greatest strength. Because if not because of god, jesus. No, no, no. There won’t be. I won’t have any strength in me. Hmm. But I draw strength in his word. In his promise. Hmm. So that’s where I draw my greatest strength. That’s where my strength lies.

Uh before the events. that led you to what made you get think. Or leave home or feel some kind of uncertainty or, not to feel safe. Before it occurred, what was your dream? 
Like. Like. Can I get the question back? 

Like before the, um, you said you witness some people, uh, and you heard some people having an.. 
No, no, the, the, the, the killing of the youth. Right. Yeah. It just I at, you know, is the news alone all over everywhere. So it was just the news of of everywhere. Okay. So. That one doesn’t. Just, you know, it’s scary news to hear and to watch. . So it does. That one it is

Okay. So, like before that, an. 
Incident.

Incident or an event 
Yeah.

What was your dream? 
What was my dream?.

Yes. 
My dream right from the beginning has always been the same thing. This doesn’t change my dream. It doesn’t add to my dreams. And right from the beginning right from the childhood I’ve been dreaming to become a footballer. My dream is to become a footballer. A professional footballer. That has always been my dream from the early childhood. Okay. So do you see that doesn’t affect my dream, right? Or does it all influence my dream? No, it does not impact my dream.

Okay. So when, uh. When you are leaving your home, 
Yeah.

What’s. What was your dream? For the future. If you can. 
Achieve my dream? 

Yes. Answer Like. You answer? I dreamt that… You can complete the sentence. When you are leaving in your home. What was your dream for the future? 
Yeah. My dream for the future is to become a professional footballer.

Hmm. 
Yeah. World best footballer, to be precise. To become the best player in the world. And also, my dream is to to be successful, to be able to cater for less privileged, Uh, how shall I put this stuff in Less privileged people.

Mm hmm. 
Um. Those who are not, the poor one. That has been my greatest, greatest dream. If I can achieve, the dream of becoming a professional footballer. My greatest dream also is to take care the less privileged and the poor one because I hate seeing people going through. I hate seeing people suffering. You know. So it’s it really. Those are the things that, make me feel sad. You know? Mm hmm. So that’s my dream.

Okay. 
Yeah. To becoming a good role model for for people.

Okay.
Yeah.

Before leaving your home country. Mm hmm. What would you describe as your strengths? And have you maintained any strength?
Before I leave my country, my strength has always been God. Hmm. Yeah. God, My first strength is God. My second strength is Fod. My third strength is God is God and God and God. Hmm. So I. That that is what has been keeping me out now. Hmm.

So what what have you been what have you been through that seems really difficult. Do you feel like you have grown in any way? So what have you been through that seems really difficult. Do you feel like you have grown in any way as a result of this experience? Or has anything at all positive come out of it?
Yeah. I’ve been through a lot. You know, like I said earlier, coming from Africa to Europe and to a country that’s not speaking this language.

Mm hmm. 
Which you get. So it’s really difficult. I went through a lot of communication problem.

Mm hmm.
Yeah. So. But with science, uh, I keep as, keep adapting. Mm hmm. I keep adapting. So. What I got we get through it or we survive it. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. And what what are your hopes and dreams for the future right now? So if you can tell me your dream. Tell me. My dream is. 
Yeah, My dream is to become a professional footballer.

Okay. Yeah. All right. So, um, is there anything also, um. Apart from football, in addition to football, that is also your dream.
Ah, aside from football, I wish to further with education. Yeah, to study business management. That has always been my dream elsewhere.

Your dream is.
Yes. To further my education. To study, to go to school. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. So I really appreciate you answering all of these questions. And is there anything you would like to add that might help people in Europe better understand the life of immigrants and refugees here? 
Oh, nothing much. I think what everyone does need is, uh. Because the ability to learn is very important. Because you are leaving your country to another country entirely, which the culture is different from your culture, and language is different from your language. So the first thing that is very important is your ability to learn. So if you have the ability to learn. The other thing is we started falling into places, so that is just the ability to learn. [00:32:42][46.0]

Okay. All right. Thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate you sharing your story and with me and with the rest of the people that will hear about this story and that will be encouraged by this story. And I’m grateful for you offering me your time. 
Yeah. You’re welcome. Thank you.

Okay. Thank you very much. 
Yeah.